Learning to be in a New Relationship

After being single for three years, being in a new relationship requires some adjusting. After my previous relationship I took a wee hiatus from commitment. That’s not to say that my previous relationship was bad but there was a lot of distrust on both sides and I wanted to be my own person for a while and discover who I am. I have currently been dating my new boyfriend (that word still freaks me out a little…) for four months and he is lovely and exactly who I want to be with but being in a relationship again definitely has some adjustments.

Building Trust

Trust is obviously a very important part of any relationship and it is something I have struggled with since my last boyfriend. Learning to trust my partner is definitely something that I am continuing to work on everyday. I know that he would never cheat on me, due to his past relationships but I still find myself worrying that he will break up with me at any moment.

Sharing a Bed

For three years now I have slept bang in the middle of the bed, surrounded in all the pillows and wrapped in covers like a burrito. Unfortunately you cannot sleep like that with another person in the bed. Clearly my partner is also used to sleeping in the middle of the bed as I will often wake up in the tiniest corner of the bed as he has moved straight into the middle and stretched his 6ft 4in body diagonally across the bed. To be fair to him, he does moan that I steal the covers, this could be true *see burrito comment above* but I like to think that when he comes over into my side he brings the covers with him and then when he moves back he leaves the covers with me.

There are obviously great things about sharing a bed as well. For example he often gets into bed first to warm it up and he is always there for me to put my cold feet on (despite his protests).

Finding Time

I can be a pretty busy person. I work full time, go to evening classes at college, find time to go to the gym and I’m helping a new business with their marketing. As well as this I need to make sure I visit my parents enough that they don’t say I never visit, make time for my 6 brothers and sisters and I obviously want to spend time with my friends. My boyfriend and I also don’t live in the same city, instead we live a car or train journey away plus a ferry (yep, we have to get on a boat to see each other). This means we can only see each other at the weekends, and as I work one day each weekend, we can only see each other one day a week. This is fine and at this stage in my life is actually perfect for me, but I now need to make sure that I get everything done over the other 6 days of the week so that I have time to spend with him. It has also meant that my hallway has remained half painted for months…I’m sure I will get round to finishing it soon.

Sharing

I tend to be a very private person (apart from apparently on this blog) so I am trying to learn how to share my personal life with my boyfriend. Telling him things about my family is hard as things with them can be complicated. I also tend to vent a lot, as it makes me feel better about situations. He is very different, he is super relaxed and chilled about things that would stress me out, and I think we are both learning to compromise and find a happy balance between the two.

With all that being said I am so happy in this new relationship and I am looking forward to our future together. I’m sure I will be constantly learning about myself and him throughout our relationship and I am honestly excited about this.

S x

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